Lucky ring on. I feel so much safer. We're coming in hot. What's the hold up?
Nothing, we're on our way. Your dude's trippin'.
Stay on the wall, beware. Hey, forget this maniac.
I'm not leaving him. You're just gonna roll up on me huh? After 8 damn years. What's up with that?
You're in a black ops prison that doesn't officially exist. I just got the location from a guy named Church.
An agency spook. Agency's official relax. Thank you for this, man. What a waste of life!
You make one damn mistake. It wasn't a mistake. It was stupid.
You'd done that to me, I would've chopped you into pieces You would've tried. Hey, you want to thank the guys? Whe're our guys? - Hammer, Guzman. Gone They've gone? Heard you killed more people than the plague!
How 'bout that? That why they called you 'Doctor Death'? Used to be a medic. But that was a long time ago.
So why'd you get locked away? So you're all that's left of The Expendables? We started out with 5. Built up to 22 I see Barney still hanging the tags up there. See that jingling sounds the tags make, that's a reminder that our brothers are still here.
Come on viking. Give me an old school of your blade.
Or else you might find your tags up there. Jingling too. Jingling jingling. Sharpen it when you're done. I think your friend is a little off. Come on Christmas, he's been in a hole for eight years. How'd he get so lucky!
He tried pulling it off his half-assed political. Assassination for a few bucks in this place called Swaziland. And he blew it. Self destructive? Yes something like that. But in all those years he's a good medic. Well, I don't need a checkup - Why are you so sarcastic?
- You're vague - Vague? - Secrets, idiot. I mean why do you take me off half way round the planet? To save this medical genius, as you describe. He's an Expendable. He's an Expandable.
So he's one of the flock Well let me tell you something. When you're incarcerated for years, I'd come and save you. But I doubt it. And I know you'd do the same for me. You'd let me rot? What's your name? Is that real?
Is that real too? Spend 3 hours every morning putting this on with a black biro. This is real. Look at that.
Balance is a little off You uh, a knife man? Best, ever I'm the knife before Christmas.
Ain't that right Barney? If you say so. Probably freestyling with a blade while you're still sucking on your daddies titty. Trying to learn how to eat with a spoon. You know that little secret you were keeping Mr.
Stay out of my brain. I'm gonna tell you I can't wait to get home. Eat some good food. Put on some fine threads. Break up my 49' Pontiac.
Keep that baby until the engine blows up. You didn't tell him did you? Tell me what? We're not going home. We're stopping at a dealer named Victor Menz.
And delivering a shipment of thermobaric bombs. Ow, come on man.
That shit is hellfire. Hey, it's routine stuff. You know why don't you just pick me up on your way back.
We're a man short. Well, you know, I'd love to party with you boys. But, uh, I don't have my shit.
That's my shit! It is your shit.
Doc, have you thanked the guys, helping you out? Say something. Uh, listen up. It's been a long time since I had a reason to say thank you.
So I just want. Oh, you know I. He's getting his rhythm - Just want to say Thank you. Sincerity is overwhelming. I think I'm gonna weep. You know what? Do not be sarcastic.
That was great, Doc. You haven't had to talk for a long time. You got the gift. It's like riding a bike.
I liked Churchill's best. I think I made my point.
I've moved you too. Doc, great to have you back. No better place to be, yeah.
About time you boys showed up. Thanks ladies, built it myself Got three more just like it patrolling the harbour Two man ground teams every 400m. Just cause you can fly a plane don't make you smarter than me. Sure it does. So you're the reason I've been stuck down here in this shithole. Brother you have no idea.
Oh yeah, hahahaha. What the hell is that? This bitch will solve all your problems.
Yeah, maybe for 10 seconds. Before he blows his wad - So now you got that problem too? You walked into that one Come on, look alive, look alive. It was all under control. Yeah, that's what it looked like. Where you've been?
I had a doctors' appointment. Catch up with you boys later. What's he got? Watch your overhead.
Ooh sadly, the man attacked me with a knife. Maybe to you.
You might want to see this. I'll show you. He's really good. Say it again and I'll shoot you.
Where's the bomb? It'll be here.
Barney, looks like the target is right on time. There's Menz, let's take 'em out fast. Barney, I'm gonna put you down. What can't be? We're gonna shoot these guys or what? What's the hold up?
Come on, get in. Come on, move! Time to mow the lawn! I told you 10 seconds Hang on. Found you a ride. Come on, go go go!
- How much we're getting pay for this? - Not enough Go right. You're not gonna fit.
Always negative. I'm getting carsick. Hang on, Doc. We're coming your way, where are you?
In this filthy river, behind you. Try to stay as close as you can. Make room for Caeser. Move your ass in. A huge black guy on a boat. Hold it, hold it, you got it going.
You alright? We got you man, come on! Maybe this'll bring you luck.
Is he gonna make it? I don't know. Who did this? I thought you killed him.
He shot Caeser to get back at me. Yeah, I'm getting out of this business. And so should you. If you need any help with Stonebanks I'm supposed to meet a guy named Church I know who you are. So who are you?
Operations officer Drummer. You don't have to worry about Church anymore He's um, he's out of the picture Jesus, Ross. We gave you everything Target, opportunity, all the intel you could ask for And you got decimated. And my target walked away Am I wrong huh? Am I missing something?
Yeah, sure you said the target's name was Victor Menz. It was wrong. His real name was Conrad Stonebanks. We knew him only as Victor Menz. Arms dealer, made billions selling to every. Psycho warlord in Africa and the Middle East. His own mercenary army is personally responsible.
For the torturing and killing. Two of the best men I ever knew, friends. I don't give a shit what his name is.
I don't like him. I want him as bad as you do. This happened on my watch. You fucked up, and I'm wearing it I'll find him. You have one more shot.
Nice to finally meet you Barney. Your men are shot to shit, what are you gonna do for a team. Don't worry about it. I'll handle it. You're gonna give yourself a stroke. What's with these guys!
Do you think when the artist painted this, he ever thought it would go for such a ridiculous price? I mean what is this? Just some paint, brushes, some cheap canvas, what's the big deal? What do you want for it?
Three million. It's very hard for me to say this. But at one time, you guys were the best. Maybe still are. But nothing lasts forever.
Hard as it is to hear We're not the future anymore Unfortunately for us We're part of the past You. You going somehere with this? As I see it If we keep this life up. The only way this thing ends.
For all of us is in a hole in the ground and no-one givin' a shit. Now, if that's the way I'm suppossed to go out, I can live with that. But what I can't live with And I won't live with. Is taking you with me What are you saying?
That's our call. I'm changing things now. You break me out. Cut me loose? You'll survive.
You all will. You live your lives while you can. Where are you going, Barney? Hey you think you just pulled the plug and that's it?
Well it doesn't work that way. We've been through the mud. The shit and the blood.
And I've saved your arse more times than I can count. You owe me a shot at the sonafabitch that took Caeser down. We're not doing that. When I joined, I joined for the whole ride. I know you did. Sorry to hear about Caeser.
I hope he pulls through, he's a good one, the good ones are rare. Well, here we are again.
What do you need? Retired the old ones.
Welcome to the 21st century. How many guys you looking for? Young, hungry, willing to take a bullet.
I'm going after Stonebanks. Let's see, you're not the only one slipping a notch.
Stonebanks is dead my friend i/mortus deii/. No, he's not.
That is not good. If he was half of what he used to be, four or five ain't gonna cut it. You're gonna need fifty. We gotta move fast, no time.
If I got to do it fast then I can't guarantee the best. Just give me something that don't give a damn. Is this a one way ticket? I got a line on a few head cases. Couple of these guys'll probably end up shooting themselves.
What about these guys? They anything? These guys are pussies.
Goes by Thorn, expert hacker. Ground pilot Did 18 months for hacking in Seattle central operating system. Shut down the whole city for 3 days. Why the hell would he do that?
Because he can. I'm not looking for an office worker. That's not him. Another one with a death wish.
You two got a lot in common. I could do that. You know what? I'm gonna come around and say it. I belong on you. You can't do that. I'd want a special rate on that one.
Yeah, yeah, that's the pecker. Always on the damn road going someplace you don't give a damn about. Beats standing still.
Yeah, I got two ex-wives. And three kids who've lost my number who'd disagree. Hey did you turn off the autopilot? - I didn't touch the autopilot. Gimme the booze. Are we off course?
Where the hell are we? Hang on a second. Is that the Big Dipper? Yeah, we gotta turn around. Next candidate is an expert in field craft and close quarters combat. Young lady, meet a friend of mine.
Barney Ross, Luna. Luna, Barney Ross. Nice to meet you Mr. Gentlemen if you'd follow me, I have your table waiting.
Live a little. So Luna how are things? The same old. What do you do?
You wanna go, bro? Would you guys excuse me. All right so what are we doing here?
Have a drink. Where's your candidate? Right there in the red dress about to chop those guys in half. The hostess? - Not the hostess She's the bouncer. I could do that. You want to slip on a dress and give it a shot.
You oughta see her without heels. When was your last checkup? I don't know, a while back. High cholesterol, plaque, all that stuff. Yeah pretty much. Except with me. They found a lump on my lung.
Very dark, they said. Why shouldn't I see that coming? Well, what do you do? I try to make as much money as I can, fast as I can. For those kids, you know. The ones I don't talk to. Make some kind of a good impression on them, before I'm gone.
Sad, isn't it? Yeah it is sad. Nah, that's all bullshit, I'm fine. Just checking you're still human. Had you going there now didn't I? Yeah, you did goddammit.
That can never happen again. I'll never trust you again. Next kid's a bit of a dark horse. Just came across my desk.
I don't like throwing in a wildcard. But this guy's creds were too good to pass up. Anybody seen Felipe? Looks good Bonaparte.
Yeah not bad. Finally got it right. Felipe Silva! Meet Barney Ross. Galgo, you sent me another fake resume.
Ross I can do what you need, whatever you need. I am healthier than I look, stronger than I look. Faster than I look. Actually, shit, you were born in 1984? Of course not. But I feel like that I was born in 1984.
Do not waste your time, Barney we're leaving. It's like uh, it's like I have discovered. The fountain of youth I mean, not.
'The fountain of youth'. Ponce de Leon discovered that one. Um by the way. Another great Spaniard, like myself. Age is just a state of mind. You're only old, when you surrender. When you give up, and I haven't, not yet.
Galgo, this shit has got to stop - I gotta go This is the third time this month. Seriously, move on. What's this guy's story?
Actually I feel a little sorry for him. His last team dropped him. Back in the day, you couldn't catch him. Very fast, maybe even faster than you - No way Oh! But, what am I gonna say. It's a young man's game. I need a job!
All I know what to do is killing people And I do that very well Damn! - What's the story on this guy? - Found him at DARPA - DARPA? - Sounds like a town in North Africa Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency Where they send the brightest military minds to develop next-gen weapons.
I'm not looking for weapons nerd. Ah, then you've come to the right place. Mars I like you to meet Barney Ross. As shooters go, Mars is as gifted as they get. Whatever you say. What do you say?
What I've got here is an X-25 assault rifle. Laser range, 25mm high explosive air burst rounds. Can be programmed to detonate over or behind the target. Final candidate, John Smilee. Guy's got the most teeth in the industry.
A lot of skills, Marines, special operator. But there is, an issue - What issue? Yeah classic authority problem.
There's a couple more swimming around in there too. Sorry Barney for wasting your time like this. He's not the guy I thought he was.
I want to meet him. Meet Barney Ross. Didn't do much to impress out there today did you? You called me, I didn't call you. Think you'd die for the money?
Maybe you like getting your ass kicked in front of strangers. What do you guys want from me? You running from something? I don't know you. But I know you. Yeah How's that?
Maybe he thinks you got potential and we're short on time. That about right?
That's about it. What's your problem? Your problem is you're rolling around in the dirt for chump change. I hear you lost a few friends in the desert.
They bought it, and you didn't. And you wear the guilt. I've been there. He's been there. We all lived it.
Well you don't know me. I know the type. Bonaparte, you're right. You did waste my time. You didn't waste your time. If you're going after Stonebanks, we might want to talk about financials now.
Normally it's just 10%, but. I figured with Stonebanks in the equation I might want to get my fee. Possibly now. I mean, not that you're not good for it, just, if you don't mind. I don't mind. It sounds like you don't have too much faith in me.
How was your vacation? Ready to go to work? You find him yet?
He's in Bucharest putting together a deal with some Albanian mobster. You got 36 hours, that's your window. After that he's back off the grid.
Satellite map. Coordinates for where he'll be. Interesting guy. Your friend Stonebanks. You're not gonna like this but.
They want him alive. Are you kidding me? They want to try him at The Hague. For war crimes.
You're gonna give this guy a chance in court? It's not my decision. No, it never is.
That's the way it's gotta be. Agency's got a local safehouse.
You're gonna need it. Don't trash the place. I heard you got a job. That's right. Who the hell are they?
They're with me. And we're not? Gunner I had told you everything I had to tell you back at the bar.
And stop drinking so much. You want to get yourself killed.
With those youngsters Do us all a favor and get the hell out of here. Wheels up in 10.
If your guys wanted to fight, why didn't they just get married? You seriously smoking next to aviation fuel? Amateur assholes. Who you calling asshole, grandpa? Grandpa's about to crush your windpipe. What is this?
Is this your toy? You want to dance big guy? It's just a job. Come on, let's go. Bunch of ass has been's still trying to be hard.
You're young and you're dumb. Jingling jingling. You're gonna need it.
Never thought you would call in that favor. I'm also not happy about it.
Got a minute? What do you need? Tell me more about this guy we're going after. It doesn't matter, you were hired to do a job. How about answering why we're doing this job? I owe you a salary that's it.
Why are we going after Stonebanks? You have a hard time taking orders don't you? If I don't know what they are, yeah. I know you don't give a damn about us. But just tell me why you want to take out this guy so bad. Thirty seconds to drop.
I can take care of myself. Twenty seconds to drop. This guy's got more muscle than a cartel king. Maybe he's up for a conference or something. What you're drinking Barney?
Is that like vanilla latte or somehting? You have to think about this again Mr. I promise you this won't happen again.
Move the car. I'm talking to you! Nice driving Mars. Good performance. Yeah, too good. Any closer and I'd beat his ass. I believe her.
Oh man, this guy's protected better than the president. Yeah, and his crib's like a 5-star fortress. Listen we're not taking him there. I bet the hotel is full of guests.
So where do we hit them? We'll hit him from all four sides. Hit him hard. Our plan is to what?
Kick down the door and start spraying bullets? It's a great plan. If it's 1985. And what's that supposed to mean?
You heard me. You got a better plan?
Let's hear it. Thorn, you're up. OK, I'm the plan. This better be good. First I hack the security grid main server, boom. Bypass the motion detector lasers and biometric sensors, pow.
Override the surveillance videos and CCTV systems, ba-bam. And we are in. It's child play. Just like that?
Just like that. Just like that.
Exactly, like that. You better be right. So why'd you let your team go? If you stick around long enough you're gonna buy it.
They didn't seem too happy about it. If you're looking to go the family route, it's the wrong job for you.
There are different kinds of family And when my life is on the line. That's my family fighting with me. You know what I mean. Yeah, I know what you mean. Right on time.
Ladies first. Go ahead then Thorn. Will you shut up and get in the sewer.
And ladies and gentlemen, we officially have eyes in the sky. Let's do this. Thought you'd never ask. Good luck boys. What's the problem? The buyer, they're early. Threat just doubled.
You're early. What do you think? When Cain slew his brother God banished him from civilization But before that he placed a mark on him It was a felon's brand, but.
To protect him from roving hunters. Customs is not X-ray artwork.
There you have it. Can you access nuclear weapons?
But generally I find people are a little too emotional for ownership And I'd hate you killing all my other customers by accident. Or on purpose. I pay you what you want. Let me think about it.
Stonebanks is moving, watch it. Like little mice. Barney Ross says hello.
Trench you copy? Package is secured. Why don't you just a bullet in his head and be done with it. Hey, you said we were taking him in. Good morning. Are these your students?
Hey kids, what'd you learn tonight huh? What happened to the old crew? Oh that's right.
They stuck their noses into other people's worlds and got fatally injured. Now they're The Deletables Hey, you hear that kids? Take note cause that's what you're doing right now. Let me shut his mouth. You're talking pretty tough to a guy who's incapacitated, which is good for you.
Why don't you cut me loose and I'll open your meat shirt and show you your own heart. Why don't the two of us just end this? What do you say?
Mix it up, either you snapping my spine or me snapping yours. You know, make it snappy He thinks I'm joking. I'm not joking. You should see me when I'm angry.
You'd be very impressed. And very dead. So, come on pal. Anything you want to get off your chest. Come on, lay it out. I'm a good listener. You're gonna take me back to the has been crew?
Carve me up around a fire Very tribal When we stop, I wanna break every bone in your body. And drop what's left at The Hague The Hague. I finally made the big-time. I'm a war criminal Keep laughing Do you think, that you can just deliver me like a package? We were close once See we started this whole Expendables thing together, see? Look I've got the marks They're a bit faded but, we had a falling out.
You went dark. It's a dark business Barney, don't pretend you're not in it. The baddest survive, those are the rules, I didn't make them up.
You see Barney here was content to work for the small end money. As an employee.
Now being boss is more lucrative but that's a concept that somehow eluded you. Plus you got that pesky moral conscience. God that stuff gets in the way. He thinks he's the good guy. Keep talking while you can. Sure, you got a conscience that makes you weak. Success, real success.
Is being willing to do the things that other people are not Not everyone's as sick as you. Oh, but you are. Did you kill anyone today Barne? Blow any shit up? How bout you kids? Before you all start grabbing bricks to stone me at The Hague. You might want to check your own hands for blood.
But I digress. Yes, business is booming right? A chopper here, a missile there, guns Whatever, when suddenly a competitor.
If you can call Uncle Sam a competitor. Hires my own team. Barney and the whole gang to whack me. Things got ugly real fast and a lot of poeple got dead. Three former brothers in arms. Shut your mouth. Three Expendables.
Our brothers, men we ate with, fought with, bled with, dead! He puts three slugs into my chest. For body armor, even I thought I was dead And then he boogies out with the casualties, all dead! Because you couldn't stay out of my business! Shut your mouth! Go on, do it! - It's what he wants.
It's hard to fathom. I can't believe you forgot. That it's hard to beat an enemy when he's living inside your own head. You see you tie me up.
Like an animal. Leave me to the slaughter.
You humiliate me. Now when the time comes to kill you. I will not use a weapon. I will use my hands. Because I want you to feel the way that I feel right now. Cause we were brothers What's that?
It's a GPS tracker. How about that? We may need them.
I need a body, find him. What happened? We found a shitstorm. It's gonna getting worse.
This came in for you, 10 minutes ago. My search party's dead so I'm taking it you're still with us. Now you should've killed me when you had the chance cause that's your last window, and it's gone Now, I got something to show you here. Lida, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo, and Chica. Yeah yeah yeah. Hey, give her a little squeeze, there. Personally, I'd chalk it up to collateral damage, but I don't give a fuck.
But, I know you. 48 hours and they're gone for good.
You want them? Come get them What are you gonna do? Wow, looking a little strung out there kids. This is what you get for being pawns in Barney's moral chess game. That one looks a little slack. You know I feel most bad for you.
I don't give a shit how you feel. I do, I have a daughter. I have feelings, anyway. You know, when the CIA, I, er presume that's who you're working for. I bet you don't even know who you're working for. But for Barney? Do you know who's he working for?
Does he know who's he working for? It gets very confusing. Anyway, when the CIA wanted guys doing the dangerous work.
In the dangerous places, they called us. When they didn't want to get their hands dirty, they called us. Yup, we cleared every hotspot they had. We bumped the bad guys so that the good guys could roll in looking like heroes. We killed a lot.
But we saved more lives. Than you can possibly imagine. Then the boys on the hill wanting no loose ends. Tried to bury me.
I was an American. Working for America. They'd eat their own children. The lesson here is. Never do business with the government.
I'm gonna save you that heartache. You never will. So you're getting your old team? Nah, I've burned that bridge. You know your pride is gonna get you killed. Better me than them.
So you're really gonna go back? - Yeah - Alone? - Yeah You're an idiot.
Thanks for showing up. I guess our favors are done. But you're still an idiot. How the hell did you find me?
I hear things. You got a mission. My name is Galgo. Let me fill you in. I am good, very good.
You know good memory, afraid of nothing. I want to be your friend. I don't need a friend.
Yes, you do Everybody does. I don't have any friends That's why I know Besides my friendship issues, what I really need now is somehting to do. Well, not just anything but. What I was born to do. Best bet, this is a one way trip.
Excuse me sir, but. One way trip. Is better than no way. Which is the way I live now.
Help me with the crate. On the plane, Gogo. On the plane, yes. But Gogo no Gogo, Galgo. Gogo sounds like a Parisian hooker. I am the bridegroom of death. The lyrics of a Spanish legion old songs.
That we used to sing when we're on a mission in Croatia. That's where I met Mingo. The best point man ever.
Some kind of savant you know, ambush. This guy could sniff, under fire. The coolest cat ever. Just pure eyes in his veins. We were pinned down once like two bullets left. I looked over.
Not one bead of sweat. Can I help you up there? You're a mechanic now? Of course I am a mechanic. I am whatever you need me to be sir.
OK then just be quiet. Tiger, This sniper I knew.
I mean, this guy got it all figured out. Wind speed, temperature. Barometric pressure. But you know what he says the most important?
Yes, he said that. This thing smells good, what is that? Aviation fuel. The best team member ever, his name was Torres. You wouldn't believe what this guy was capable to do.
I'm telling you, man. I think I know why your team let you go. You sure you want to do this? I like travelling. Uh, who are those guys? What the hell are you doing here?
You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess. We're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it. We're late for a war. Galgo you might want to get out of that seat, Christmas is coming. But it's June. Galgo, get the hell out.
Since when did suicide become your hobby? I got a will. You know I'm probably the only friend you've got. I got a lot of friends.
You walk into a room, people jump on the tables. I missed you, Christmas.
I miss you too you demented bastard. You could've left it demented.
Solid structure. That is taking us from one place to another. Through unbelievable speeds.
Think about it. If he would've liked us you know flying He would've give us feathers. Do you have feathers? Do you have feathers? - I don't have feathers - It's gonna be a long ass flight fellas It's going to be. It's going to be a long flight but don't worry.
I'm here, because I can't sleep on planes. Thought you should know Barney, you're walking into a shitstorm. NSA ran a signals and frequencies check on your team's phones. This bastard's not even trying to hide them. Where has he taken them? They're in Azmanastan. Another honeymoon hotspot.
Lee Christmas. Not far off, Christmas. Stonebanks's compound is where he trains his goons. It's very heavily fortified. What's up with the local army? I don't understand a word this guy is saying.
Local army status. Small, corrupt. Stonebanks got all the brass in his pocket. Been running his operations through this shithole of a country for years. Want some advice?
- What's the advice? - What goddamn language is that? They don't teach you that on the stage either. Look who's talking. What's the advice Drummer? Forget about what you're thinking.
Remember our deal. We need him alive. So he can sit in a courtroom and beat this on a technicality? Those are orders Barney. You broke the phone. I got another one.
Think we'll make it back from this one? You didn't have to come along, Christmas. Morons need friends. Change of plans. This is your evac team?
Short notice. Where is your team?
Major Drummer? No team, this one's off the books. I'm not even here. Nobody's here. I thought Church was asshole. Hysterical is strength. Weird concept.
I mean, if you're hysterically strong. You don't even have to go to the gym. You are just strong.
You just got it. Hysterical was a concept that actually was applied to women. In the 19th century.
You know what I mean Well, this is an interesting place. He gave me a migraine. Don't you think? Look on the bright side. You run out of bullets, you can talk him to death. Tall one doesn't like me.
He doesn't like anybody. What you say? - He likes you. What the hell is that? That computer strapped to your wrist. The same thing you were busting that kid's balls about. Nah, I had it for a while now.
Why'd your team let you go? Why is it matter now? I want to know who I'm working with. They are not around anymore.
This um, So why'd they let you go? I was not in the army anymore.
Retreaving a hostage something like uh. Like what we are doing here. It was a beautiful day. And then it all went bad. We got hit, cut off. Waited for support, no one came. Everybody died.
Torres and Tiger were right. You were listening. Yeah, I was listening. So what do you think? I think we should get this over with.
Four signals. Eight stories up. This is way too wrong. Sally don't like it.
You know he's got eyes on us now. May I suggest something? That's what I thought. What the hell! Hello, Barney. I knew you couldn't stay away.
But I'm relieved that someone could pick up the kids. You got them in there, now try gettting them out. But unfortuantely for you. The entire complex has been wired with C-4. It'd take a regular Joe about 90 seconds to get out of there. You got, how about 45?
He's turned this whole place into a bomb. 9% battery power? You didn't charge it? Excuse me but what are you doing?
Try to run some code, should be able to jam the signal. Why didn't you think of that?
Well I use it to check the weather. Will you just shut up and let him do his thing?
You sure you're gonna do this Thorn? I can do it, I can do it. Come on, man.
Come on, man. Come on, come on.
Come on, Thorn. You're good, come on Thorn.
Focus, focus. Good job, my boy. We lost override. The signal is jammed. Send them in. Barney the battery's at 8%. When this thing dies, we lose override.
That gives us about 25 minutes tops Don't pop the bottles yet, we still got trouble. Big trouble Lucky again bro. Try to enjoy the view because shortly the building that you're currently standing in will be surrounded by the Azmanastan army.
How did you shitheads manage to get captured anyway? - Shut the fuck up! Step back This is not an accident. And we're trapped in here.
This is exactly what he knew would happen. Us, tearing at each other.
This stops now. We can do this. But only if we do this together. If we work as a team. We just may get out of this alive.
Now do you, want to make it work. You got any weapons?
Here's the plan. We're gonna break up into small groups. And go out through the ground floor. Thorn, you stay with me.
You take Galgo. Yeah I don't want to. One there, one there.
There's too many! They're on our flank. Bring it to 'em. That's enough, light them up. Up the shaft Thorn. You gotta protect that signal jammer. I thought you could fight.
Jesus God, you're OK? Do not worry. Good keep moving. I told you you'd give yourself a stroke. You got a tank problem pal. Do something about it. Trench, on your right. Delphi 5 download.
That's gotta hurt. Drummer's in the house. Time to pick up the tempo boys. Look out for the chopper.
This is not happening. You want to do something? Yang, hit something. Your name is Luna right? Luna means moon. Hypnotic, mysterious, magical, like yourself. Would you like to hold my gun?
Goodbye, sweet. Come on, drive this thing. This one's for Caesar, assholes. Damn that's cool. It was all under control. That's what it looked like. This the happiest moment of my life.
Jingling jingling. You finished here? - You're not gonna believe this - Oh, god. I've been thinking of you the whole time. During the whole fight!
- Can we just go? Where did you learn how to fly?
Warning, we got reinforcements. Drummer, there's another wave coming. The only way out is up. Everybody get to the roof now.
Trench, Yang, come on, clear the roof. Always this easy? - Pretty much. How hard can it be to kill 10 men? D'you think you could even just wound a couple? Watch closely. Anybody else?
Useless bunch. You want something done right.
You got valet parking here? Yeah, there's some right here. Come on guys, move it. Drummer, we're pinned down. Stop mumbling.
Good morning. Let's get to the chopper. Go go go go move go. You're welcome You're working for Trench? Yeah, he pay me more money. Who the hell are you? - I'm the guy that just saved your ass (Spanish profanity.) Batteries at 2% Hey Barney, leaving so soon?
Come on, ley's finish this. How you feeling? Come on, stand up, you'll feel better.
Barney where are you? Lose the armor, I want you to feel this.
Barney we gotta go. And don't even think about going for that piece of garbage in the bag. We don't need these, do we? Barney we gotta go.
Batteries at 1% Come on Barney. What about The Hague huh? I am The Hague. Batteries gone. Gotta go, gotta go. No don't, wait, wait. I can't wait.
Come on, Barney! What the hell! You owe me Barney.
You're gonna fire us again, Barney? Can't hear you, pal!
I'm gonna kill you! Alright, I'm sorry! - Pull me up you idiots. Don't pull him up.
I don't think I'll be needing this anymore. You want your luck back? I hope I didn't stretch it. I think you did stretch it.
Good to have you back man. Good to be back. Don't scare us like that anymore, OK. You never got him to The Hague. You know Drummer. Working with you ain't been so bad.
I haven't had so much fun in years. Fun's important. These guys are nuts. Our power's combined. Yes, you are.
Come on, there must be a plan - Woah, Major Old-School - Major Badass I'll drink to that. I am sure I have done enough. That I am worth my weight, in gold you know. And since I am as crazy as you. I am sure I feel game. Welcome aboard.
Because I already spent a fortune on this. You know what I mean. I am so happy. Barney, thank you.
No, no, no, no - No hugging. No hugging. Best two out of three. Just wanted to say thanks. For caring.
Oh, come on. You know, if you were 30 years younger. I'd be afraid of you. Hey Yang, looks like you had a growth spurt. Tall people don't live long.
So you're working for Trench now. And you, I thought you retired. You guys want to get a room? We came in this thing together, we gonna leave here together. You know for a guy that doesn't take orders very well. You did pretty good. So when do I take over?
Keep drinking. Get over here. You did good kid.
You look like a proud, demented father. You could've skipped the demented part. It was a compliment.
November 11, 2015. As we’ve said before on this site, we believe that the one of the best tools screenwriters have at their disposal, are professional produced movie scripts. There is nothing else that gives you the practical experience of how it all comes together than that has actually been produced. And not just the spec screenplay that was originally sold, although those are excellent resource points, but the actual movie script that mirrors the final film. But what are the best film scripts to read, and why? In this post we break down some of the best screenplays to read in each genre — Comedy, Drama, Action/Adventure, Thriller and Horror — and why you need to read them.
And if you’ve already read them, why you need to read them again, as it’s only by not just reading scripts, but by really breaking them down, getting inside them and figuring out why they work, that you’ll get the most out of them as a writer. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at Best Movie Scripts #1 – American Beauty Genre: Drama Writer: Alan Ball Alan Ball graduated from Florida State University with a degree in theater arts, went on to write for the theater and then television, penning the hit comedies Grace Under Fire and Cybil.
Although there are elements of comedy in American Beauty, for which he won the Oscar for best screenplay in 2000, it is overall a drama, and in our opinion a modern masterpiece of screenwriting. The script opens with Jane staring into the camera — a handheld device operated by an unseen man — nonchalantly discussing killing her father. We then cut to said father — a loser named Lester Burnham — and follow him as he begins another miserable day at the office, all the while hearing his Voice Over from beyond the grave. In fact the opening twenty-five pages are a masterclass in, and as the screenplay pulls you into a web of lies set in a suburban hell.
There are some truly terrific examples of in this script and one of our favorites is the “cute meet” between Lester and his daughter Jane’s best friend, Angela: Alan Ball has a terrific visual style which you’ll pick up and imbibe into your own writing while reading and studying this script. There are no major formatting quirks in Ball’s writing, but the first thing you may notice when you open American Beauty is that he likes to underline his sluglines. Like we always say, there are no “rules” when it comes to screenplay formatting, but there are differences between a. For the sake of simplicity it’s probably best to keep things simple, and this means not underlining sluglines in your spec script. Alan Ball can do it because he’s Alan Ball. You’re not, so why give a script reader even the slightest reason to be turned off or distracted while reading your spec?
Best Movie Scripts #2 – Youth In Revolt Genre: Comedy Writer: Gustin Nash (from the novel by C.D. Payne) Sure we could’ve picked any number of comedy script classics for this section — Groundhog Day, Annie Hall, Some Like It Hot etc — but we thought we’d go with a little underrated comedy gem by the name of Youth In Revolt. Because its a great modern comedy script and Gustin Nash’s writing is funny as hell. Nash broke onto the scene after writing nine spec screenplays with a comedy he wrote in four weeks called Charlie Bartlett. After reading C.D.
The Expendables Band
Payne’s novel Youth In Revolt, Nash decided to adapt it into a screenplay. He said at the time, “ Here was a chance to take credit for writing something that was much better than what I’d come up with on my own.” Nash is being modest, as his take on Youth In Revolt is a blast and the movie is every bit as good as the book. If you’re an aspiring comedy writer, you’ve probably already been told to include more jokes, make the reader laugh (preferably out loud) and generally pack in as much humor in every line as you possibly can.
Well, Nash’s film script is a perfect of example of how you do just that. Here are the opening few paragraphs: Note how from the opening page Nash has us laughing — how he introduces a protagonist in Nick Twisp who’s readily identifiable from his and actions. From there on in, the script is a comedy riot of teenage angst and sexual yearning, with a nice side helping of surrealism thrown in for good measure. Read it and see how consistent the tone is throughout — funny and absurd, yet with an emotional heart and — and see the level your comedy spec needs to aspire to.
Best Movie Scripts #3 – Raiders of the Lost Ark Genre: Action/Adventure Writer: Lawrence Kasdan Lawrence Kasdan was commissioned by George Lucas to write Raiders of the Lost Ark, but how it all came together was very much a group effort between Kasdan, Lucas and Steven Spielberg. All three worked on fleshing out the script during a series of now infamous story meetings in January 1978, the result of which was quite possibly the best action/adventure movie script ever written. Action/adventure movies are notorious for having but thin characterizations. This screenplay, however, is a wonderful example of how to elevate the hero’s personality above the paper thin cut-outs found in many. In fact, making Indiana Jones a compelling protagonist, was the first thing Lucas concentrated on in those early story meetings and by reading the movie script you get a great sense of how it’s done.
For example, see how they partly achieve this by giving Indy a personal motivation to his quest in the shape of Marion. The Raiders of the Lost Ark screenplay is also a fantastic tool for learning how to create all those twists and turns required in an action/adventure movie. Kasdan achieves this by utilizing seven specific sequences, each one taking Indy alternately closer and further away from his goal — the Ark of the Covenant. (You can read more about how Kasdan achieves this in our screenwriting book) And reading the script will also give you the opportunity to check out one of the best exposition scenes in history — Indy’s blackboard scene with Brody and the army intelligence guys: Just studying this scene alone will tell you all you need to know about hiding.
In short, this is an essential screenplay and film to study for all those wishing to write action/adventure. Best Movie Scripts #4 – Fargo Genre: Thriller Writers: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen The other Best Screenplay Oscar winner on our list is the Coen Brother’s crime thriller masterpiece, Fargo. In 2006, the film was preserved by the Library of Congress as “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant,” and you’re not going to go far wrong by studying the screenplay.
Much of the Coen’s work is described as “genre-bending” and the film script for Fargo is no exception, mixing elements of thriller and comedy to wonderful effect. Humor can be a powerful weapon in any genre but reading this script will give you an idea of just how powerful. From Jerry’s magnificent bumbling, to Marge’s ho-hum police procedural work, to Carl and Gaear’s squabbling, the characterizations all make superb use of humor to elevate the screenplay above the average thriller. Another factor that helps with this is, which shines through just as well in the screenplay as in the movie. And like in all the Coen’s scripts, the writing is terse but incredibly evocative. Check this description of Gaear’s execution of some passers-by, for how to convey so much with so few words: Like Alan Ball, the Coens’ like to mess around with sluglines, and in this case by almost dispensing with them entirely.
Again, stick to the conventions on this one, but other than that copy, crib and steal as much as you can from two masters of modern cinema. Best Movie Scripts #5 – The Conjuring Genre: Horor Writers: Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes The Conjuring, written by twin brothers Chad and Carey Hayes, was something of a hit when it was released in 2013.
The reason this specific horror screenplay is great, is because of the way the Hayes brothers make us feel the tension, the mood, the dread and the pacing throughout. By the end we are gripping the edge of our seats and don’t even realize it — something that’s particularly hard to do with today’s seen-it-all-before horror audience. The Conjuring also makes use of some interesting formatting, using CAPS and bold and underlining in ways that are so subtle, and so manipulative to our reading experience, it is like a visceral punch in the gut.
You feel the in this screenplay. You feel the air move as the hands come out beside you and clap from the darkness.
You feel the dread in your chest with whatever is standing behind the door telling the young girl it’s going to kill her family. This is a masterful script when it comes to delivering a screenplay a director can cinematically see, because it is all there on the page. Like this one: (You read more about how to leverage suspense in your writing style in.) The best thing about this movie script is that it takes our main characters and brings up obstacle after obstacle, just when they feel like they finally have the upper hand. It also plays on the deepest possible fears of each character, and you don’t even realize it’s happening because the writing on the page just sucks your eye along at such a frantic pace, you can’t look away and even think of what else is happening. ### Once you’ve read our selection of the best film scripts once, and then gone back in and watched the movies, the most important thing is to study the screenplays. It’s like a detective at a crime scene.
He or she doesn’t just take a cursory look around, make a few notes and go back to the station. No — they dig in deep, analyze the scene with a fine tooth comb, go over every possible angle.
This is what you should be doing with a screenplay. Yes there are many out there on the craft, and you can take which help to nail down finer tunings, as well as script coverage which adds another layer of knowledge for your screenwriting mastery. But the best movie scripts themselves have everything right there on the page. Taking a screenplay, studying it, breaking it down, seeing how you add tension in a way that is real and smart and so slick in its application that you don’t notice your hands are sweating until you flip the page, is such a powerful learning experience. It flows with such fierce speed that you can’t flip the page soon enough to see where his next obstacle will come up. This is what the best film scripts do. So read all of these scripts, study them, reverse engineer them, break them down, and then use what you learned and apply it in your own writing.
Thank you very much for the suggestions. I just watched 10 cloverfield. I’ve had trouble finding it either in it’s current form or when it was “The Cellar”. I love the Matrix but never thought of reading it for some reason and Children of men, very good call. I found your resources outstanding. What a collection of scripts.
Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my post. I have just recently found your website and it has really elevated my writing. I’m working on a very high concept idea with a director for a team of sci-fi producers and your site has helped immeasurably. Really, thank you for this gem of a site. I’m drawn to selfless resources and this site is bookmarked for me.
FADE IN: EXT. PRISONER TRANSFER TRAIN SYLVESTER STALLONE, JASON STATHAM, and DOLPH LUNDGREN drop onto a train from a helicopter. Also RANDY COTURE is there, BLEH. SYLVESTER STALLONE Alright Expendables! We've lost a lot of cast members, so we need to rescue Wesley Snipes from this train before it gets to prison! JASON STATHAM Wesley Snipes? 'Ow long 'til we make some obnoxious winkin' reference to his IRS trouble?
DOLPH LUNDGREN I'm guessing it's his second line in the movie. RANDY COTURE Maybe it'll be his first line! Ha ha, guys, right? Everyone rolls their eyes and ignores RANDY, then proceeds to bust WESLEY out of the TAIL CAR.
WESLEY SNIPES Thanks fellas. Hang on a second, I'm going to recreate pretty much all of Snowpiercer in the next three minutes. SNIPES battles his way past through every guard on the train all the way to the front, then rigs the train to drive straight into SOME BAD GUY who is pretty much standing on the train tracks inside the prison. EXPLOSIONS happen. WESLEY SNIPES It's great to be back, because I'm totally an original Expendable, I was in 'The Expendables 0', you must not have seen it. I'll bet you're glad to have a knife guy back on the team!
JASON STATHAM Knife guy? I'm the bloody knife guy! WESLEY SNIPES What? You should be the car guy, or the transportation guy! I'm the knife guy, I'm Blade goddammit! JASON STATHAM Then you should be the sodding sword guy! And I can't be the transportation guy, that's Stallone for some reason!
SYLVESTER STALLONE Guys, enough! Everyone is equally the everything guy, okay? Nobody has any distinguishing characteristics aside from physical appearance! RANDY COTURE That's right, I'm the cauliflower ears guy!
SYLVESTER STALLONE Right, and I'm the Botox guy. DOLPH LUNDGREN And I'm the guy who time has been extremely unkind to. JASON STATHAM Wait, does 'at make me the male pattern baldness guy or the English guy?
WESLEY SNIPES Well what am I then? You already have a black guy, and if you have two black guys on the same team, then it's officially a black team and you're limited to making Tyler Perry money.
TERRY CREWS Oh no, he's right! (is injured) (goes into coma) (no longer in the movie) STALLONE, SNIPES, STATHAM, LUNDGREN, and, ugh, COTURE discover MEL GIBSON is a WEAPONS DEALER.
MEL GIBSON Oh come on! I played this exact character in Machete Kills! Man, you make a couple dozen homophobic remarks and use somewhere between fifty and a hundred racial slurs and suddenly you're always the bad guy! SYLVESTER STALLONE Gibson?
I thought I killed you back in 'The Expendables: Beginnings'! MEL GIBSON Yeah well, nobody is truly gone until their contract negotiations fall through. Speaking of which, Bruce Willis is gone so Harrison Ford is the new plot guy.
(leaves) EXT. OUTSIDE OF HOSPITAL SYLVESTER STALLONE approaches HARRISON FORD, feebly hunched over with a cluster of medics sweating bullets just offscreen. SYLVESTER STALLONE Mel Gibson is alive, and going by a new fake name that we'll discuss for a weirdly long time. HARRISON FORD Mel Gibson? Did't you kill him in 'The Expendables: Rise of the Expendables'?
SYLVESTER STALLONE Apparently not. I suppose you're here to tell me you want him dead. HARRISON FORD According to the contract I got you to sign after Bruce Willis cashed in a Die Hard paycheck and told you to fuck yourself, I'm here to stand absolutely still during all dialogue scenes and sit absolutely still during all action scenes. STALLONE meets with SNIPES, STATHAM, and LUNDGREN. And nobody else worth mentioning. SYLVESTER STALLONE Well guys, it seems like after the first movie that took itself way too seriously, and the second movie that had Willis and Schwarzenegger have a whole conversation about catchphrase use, we've finally figured out the right tone for these stupid movies.
JASON STATHAM Brilliant! WESLEY SNIPES Cool. DOLPH LUNDGREN (indecipherable) RANDY COTURE Gosh, so this ought to be the best Expendables movie yet, huh guys? SYLVESTER STALLONE.which is why I'm firing all of you. I'll be replacing you with an unrecognizable team of younger people that none of the thirty-something man-children who like these movies will give a fuck about.
WESLEY SNIPES Holy shit, I literally JUST got into these movies and now I'm out? This was a bigger waste of my time than installing TurboTax!
JASON STATHAM There it is! RANDY COTURE Golly Sly, I can't believe you've already picked out a team to replace us. SYLVESTER STALLONE Oh I haven't, I'm actually going to spend the next twenty goddamn minutes doing just that.
All with the assistance of. (closes eyes and picks a random contact on his phone) Kelsey Grammer? Alright, who's been messing with my Blackberry? VARIOUS EXOTIC LOCALES SYLVESTER STALLONE and KELSEY GRAMMER scope out some young actors who aren't actually action stars because then they'd have to be paid.
KELSEY GRAMMER Thanks again for calling, Sly. This really seems like the perfect job for Carl Weathers or Gary Busey or Chris Lambert or Jesse Ventura or Stephen Seagal or Kurt Russell or Louis Gossett Jr. Or Rutger Hauer or Val Kilmer or Burt Reynolds or Nick Nolte or Michael Biehn or Jon Voight or Emilio Estevez or Peter Weller but NO, you called Frasier first! I'm truly honored. SYLVESTER STALLONE Uh, yeah.
So I need five fresh young faces to join my new team. Or maybe four young faces and another old face, I just can't resist that shit. KELSEY GRAMMER Great. First up, we've got Glen Powell.
He's a world-class hacker, but don't go thinking he's some lame nerd, because he's also terrible at climbing rocks. GLEN POWELL Nice to meet you. Since this movie is written by people the same age as my grandparents, I can use computers to do literally anything, in fact I'm a hologram right now. KELSEY GRAMMER Next, we've got Ronda Rousey, a GIRL! But don't worry, no opportunity to highlight her sexuality will be missed.
RONDA ROUSEY I can kick butt in 6-inch stilettos and I'm not wearing any underwear! I'm sure the guy who wrote this will do a classy job as the producer of an all-female Expendables spinoff. KELSEY GRAMMER Then, we've got Victor Ortiz.
He makes his own guns or ammo or something. VICTOR ORTIZ I've designed a bunch of custom weapons that I will use absolutely none of, please give me a regular gun immediately. KELSEY GRAMMER Last is Kellan Lutz. He was in all five of the Twilight movies, and he's played both Poseidon and Hercules, so he'll be very eager to take his shirt off.
KELLAN LUTZ (taking shirt off) Fuck you, I hate authority, and I despise working as part of a team. SYLVESTER STALLONE You remind me of myself at your age. And since I'm writing the screenplay that dictates your reaction to that, it's a compliment. KELLAN LUTZ (putting shirt on) I'd be honored to join your team, then. (takes shirt back off) STALLONE and THE EXPENDA-BRATS prepare for their next mission.
ANTONIO BANDERAS Wait, you must allow me to join as well! SYLVESTER STALLONE What's your special skill? ANTONIO BANDERAS Never. Suddenly SNIPES, STATHAM, LUNDGREN, and THE OTHER ONE all show up. JASON STATHAM Looks like you've got a new team of young action heroes, each one representin' the modern styles of action movies that do well at the box office and force folks like us out o' the spotlight.
I'd say it's a bit too on the nose, but that's how you won your Oscar with Rocky. WESLEY SNIPES Sly, everyone knows that this is going to take a huge right turn into Mary Sue fanfic territory and have all the young kids getting captured so that us washed-up has-beens have to rescue them and prove our relevance.
Let's just skip to that part and shave 20 minutes off this thing. SYLVESTER STALLONE Uh, no, that's totally not what's going to happen. All of these Expendables movies from now on are going to follow me and my new team: Glen Somebody, Victor Spanishname, Girl McGirlistan, and Lellan Kutz. Goodbye forever, Expendables. THE EXPENDA-BABIES are immediately captured. STALLONE, LUNDGREN, SNIPES, and STATHAM have to save the day and, why the hell not, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, JET LI, and HARRISON FORD too.
RANDY COTURE And everyone's favorite Expendable, Randy Couture! Wait, has my name been spelled wrong this whole time? Oh come on, guys! ABANDONED BUILDING - OSMANISTAN STALLONE, STATHAM, LUNDGREN and SNIPES find LUTZ, ORTIZ, ROUSEY, and POWELL and free them. MEL GIBSON (over loudspeaker) Well, this was a trap obviously. And the building is wired with explosives, of course.
Remote detonator, seconds before the whole building goes up, corrupt militia coming in to kill you, outnumber you five to one, tanks, yadda yadda yadda. It's hard to imagine why movies like this stopped being popular, huh? SYLVESTER STALLONE There's only one way we're getting out of this, and that's by working as a team. Let's all split up.
GLEN POWELL Guys, I can use my magical hacking skills to jam the signal to the explosives. Of course, once my Moto 360 smartwatch battery runs out, they'll go off. I just charged it, so we have about 5 minutes. RONDA ROUSEY Is your sole purpose in this movie to turn what would normally be a timer counting down to zero into a battery indicator counting down to zero? ANTONIO BANDERAS Well hello, I will awkwardly hit on you, please ignore that I'm old enough to be your grandfather and that I almost exclusively now play characters named 'Puss'.
WESLEY SNIPES We're going to have to shoot our way out of here. Make sure that all deaths happen offscreen and there's no blood, we need to secure that PG-13 rating so the movie will be accessible to a new generation of teenagers who have absolutely no fucking clue who any of us are. JET LI Sounds like a good time for me to do some Kung Fu ha ha just kidding there will be NONE of that nonsense. KELLAN LUTZ Great plan, let me just grab my motorcycle, which will be extremely useful in both this crumbling building as well as the uneven, obstacle-filled ground surrounding it! There's a huge shootout between a fuckton of identical-looking characters, lots of noise, things blow up.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER Guys, I was checking a list of Arnold Quotes and realized I have't said 'get to the choppah' in any of these Expendables movies. So, get to the choppah! Everyone hurries to escape the building, but MEL GIBSON shows up to face STALLONE one-on-one. MEL GIBSON If you want something done right, you need to put on a silk bowling shirt and do it yourself!
SYLVESTER STALLONE Mel, at last we meet. Maybe you won't be like every other Expendables villain and you'll actually get to survive and become our nemesis in the sequels. MEL GIBSON Oh please, I don't need your handouts you Hollywood liberal pussy queer jew. (is shot) Aw shit, what did I say this time?! I was drunk, that means it's okay!
(dies) All of the EXPENDABLES survive, and TERRY CREWS even shows up! And SCHWARZENEGGER and LI ensure there's at least ONE GAY JOKE!
And the STUDIO leaks the movie online so they can blame PIRACY when the movie TANKS at the BOX OFFICE! SYLVESTER STALLONE Based on the dismal earnings, I guess it's safe to say this well has dried up. I suppose there's just not a market for watching the decaying corpses of former action stars rehashing tired formulae from the 80's. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER We're just going to have to take our careers in risky new directions if we want to stay relevant, huh?
HARRISON FORD It sure seems that way. We'll have to let go of the kinds of roles that made us famous when we were younger. STALLONE announces plans for RAMBO 5 and ROCKY 7.
SCHWARZENEGGER announces plans for TERMINATOR 5, TWINS 2, and CONAN 3. HARRISON FORD announces plans for STAR WARS 7, INDIANA JONES 5, and BLADE RUNNER 2.
Keep this sucker steady, Toll! - I'm doin' my best! Come on, you bastards!
- Better duck. Watch your head, Insect! - Shut up, Gunner! Gotta love it!
Incoming chopper! We gotta get this thing outta here! You got any ideas? - That's what I'm askin' you!
- Well, I'm askin' you. Toll Road, get 'im up. Oh, this is embarrassing.
Yeah, it sure is. What's he doin' here?
- Saving this Chinese billionaire. That's funny. Well, then we have a scheduling problem, don't we? - Cut me loose.
Don't get nuts, Gunner. Where's your team? I need a weapon.
Something big. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin' right where it is.
C'mon, Caesar. You got a backup. If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated. In your dreams. Trench, we got a way out.
I got my own. Let's get you out of here, pal. I hate to break up the bromance. We're 20 seconds late! Get Moneybags up. A 'thank you' would be nice. I hate owing you.
Well, you do, big boy. Let's go, Yao. Did you win? - Of course I win.
Now you put on your lucky ring? One wet wall comin' up.
I got your gang bang right here! I got your back! - Why always me? - Better you than me. That's nice. You order room service?
- Not really. This is gonna be a piss-poor ending. That loaded? - We can only hope.
I had to adjust for a wind shift. Hit the last position. Let's go, go, go! Okay, hold on, ladies. The cavalry's here.
It's about time you got here! - Wake up Santa. The guy is good. Appreciate it, sir.
We'll swing around and pick you up, kid. Won't be late, sir. All right, guys.
Put your toys away. Target in sight. Soup's hot! - You missed. You're aimin'!
That was a statement. Drop the skis!
- Come on, get rid of this weight. It ain't gettin' up! We are approximately Not that I wanna hear it, what's the oil pressure? And the altimeter?
Would you believe? It's stuck on 10,000 feet. Hydraulics? - What hydraulics? You own another piece of junk now. Hey, can we talk when you're not too busy? - Sure, anytime.
Kid's amazing. You're just used to me. Get the client ready. What is going on? Looks like you're takin' a shortcut home, pal.
Parachute good? Why you got a parachute? Can you believe they changed our landing permit until tomorrow?
Yeah, but it's okay. I'll get home a little earlier. Fifteen seconds. Openin' the hatch! Yang, get Moneybags home safely.
So when you comin' back? Maybe soon, maybe never. Maybe try a new life. Then who am I supposed to pick on? You will find another minority. See you later. That's real Chinese takeout.
I'm homesick. I love this song! Please tell me you ain't goin' through with this. Look at that girl.
Who wouldn't marry 'er? She cheated on you. It was a half-cheat. The other side of a half-truth.
The facts are murky. I hate to break this to you, pal, but your girlfriend over there has a world-class cheatin' gene. I should stab you in the heart. You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful. Hey, Barney. Promise next time not to keep my baby away so long?
Cross my heart. If he had one. Look who's lost in space. You got anything that doesn't have skulls on it? Matter of fact, I don't.
Einstein's theory of special relativity. Only I made it better. Believe it or not, before Gunner became chemically unbalanced, he went to MIT, had a Master's degree in chemical engineering. This idiot actually had a brain, you believe that? - Well, what happened?
- He quit to be a bouncer. I wanted to get close to this girl who danced at this disco. Yeah, I can't believe she dumped you. Wouldn't you?
- I would, yeah. Can we talk outside? - Yeah, sure. How do I put this?
- Just be straight up. I'm not sure what I feel.
It's not for you, is it? I thought it was.
You gave me a chance to be one o' you, and you got my respect forever. And you got my respect, too.
What are you gonna do? Well, I'd like to finish out the month. Then I wanna go meet up with my girlfriend.
Where's she from? - She's, uh, she's French.
Believe it or not, I met 'er in Afghanistan. She was a nurse. That comes in handy.
And you'd like 'er. You know, she's the kind o' person you wanna do things for.
That's why I took this job, cause the money's great and. Now I can afford to get 'er everything she deserves. It's one o' those things that just feels right. Well, you know, when you can be with someone and you don't even have to talk. You already know what they're thinkin'. You ever had that? I don't want you to think that I'm desertin' you.
If I had to do it all over again at your age, I'd be doin' what you're doin'. Why don't you freshen up that beer? What do you want from me, Church?
Not too good in the memory category, are you, Barney? You made a deal with me. You gave me your word. And you end up blowin' up half of Vilena, punchin' holes and a bowie knife through a fellow CIA agent, even if he was a dirtbag.
But what breaks my heart. Is that you stole 5 million dollars from me. And for all this male pattern badness, I could've put you in the deepest, darkest hole in Gitmo. But I kept you out. Because I knew the day would come when you were gonna pay me back.
Keep talkin'. A Chinese plane got shot down over the mountains near a hell-hole called Gasak. Who shot it down? - Take a guess. On board that plane is a safe carrying something you don't need to know about. All you need to know is you can't let it fall into the wrong hands.
Now, you're gonna go in there, and you're gonna get the contents of that safe before anyone else. You're gonna bring it to me. It should be a walk in the park for you. And then we're even.
We'll get to that. The safe in that plane is very high-tech. The access code changes every 120 seconds.
You use the wrong code, it blows. So we need to get you in. Wait, wait. Who are you workin' with? That's none o' your business. Let's just call our host The Corporation. I'm sending along a pro who specializes in this type o' situation.
Her name is Maggie Chang. That usually goes along with the name Maggie, yeah. She can handle herself.
But let me be clear. If anything happens to her, she gets a hangnail, she gets hurt, she gets roughed up, she doesn't come back in exactly the same condition she went in, you and your little gang of psychotic mutts will never be seen again. And that, I promise you. I don't make a very good babysitter. Don't sell yourself short. You're gonna make a very good babysitter.
Be there at 7:00. I'm Maggie Chang. You're Barney Ross?
Church told you about me? - Said you wanna tag along? Help, not tag along. Nice motorcycle. Where we're goin' is new. We don't know what to expect.
Is it custom? I think it's a mistake, you comin' along. Build it yourself? Yeah, I built it myself. Are you playin' games with me, Maggie? Are you playing games with me?
Church told me what you said. I'm combat proficient.
I don't need a babysitter. When do we leave? Nice meeting you. She's into me.
She hates you. You know, if somethin' happens to her, it's comin' back on us. Did you ever think to ask me for my opinion? I told you 10 times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind goin' to jail.
Yeah, well, Church intimidated you. Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust callin' again? You know, I will stab you one day. Yeah, course I'm thinkin' about you. What else is there to think about?
You were in the Army, right? Last tour was Afghanistan, Kunar Province.
Didn't like it any more? - I would like to hear it. I, uh, I was trained as a sniper, and an instructor, too, but. I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 Taliban opened up from these houses in the hills above us.
And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. 'No way', says the captain.
Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some. To the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but. We were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for.
I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover.
Scattered the Hadjis, but. Smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Mad and sick, all dead for nothin'. You know, the most.
Screwed up thing of all. Is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they had shot this stray dog that I adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shootin' for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on.
I heard these guys were lookin' for someone, and here I am. You got that transponder? Apparently, 15 kilometers northwest. Oh, hello, darlin'. Hello, darlin'. I'm a little busy. We're in and outta here fast.
The sooner, the better. Billy the Kid. Today's your lucky day. You get to take point.
My pleasure, sir. Remember when you could do that? - No, do you? I could blow 'im away if I needed to. You see what I see? A thousand bucks you can't catch 'im. Go on, Flash.
I'm a little busy. Found the wreck at the bottom of the hill, sir.
Slow it down, Billy. You're makin' us look bad. Say it again, over? - Roger that. Slowin' it down.
We appreciate it. Rest o' the plane's over the hill, sir. Good work, Billy. Looks like somebody had a bad day.
You guys go to the right. Take off, Rover. You get a vantage point up there. There's fur in their hands.
These guys were alive until the wolves got to 'em. Yes, it's here. I need you in here. Caesar, grab a hold of this thing.
I think it's spring-loaded. Lee, hook it on. Now, on the count of three, let's pull it back. We can't hold this. You have to. Come on, Maggie! - Something's wrong.
The explosive timer's triggered. Fifty-four seconds! If we leave now, we'll make it. Maggie, let it go! - No, I can do it!
Come on, Maggie! Man, what's goin' on? She tripped the detonator.
I'm losin' my grip! You do, she's cut in half. Come on, Maggie!
- Yeah, lucky I was here. Just thinkin' that. It's important I get this. You got guts.
No common sense. It's all right.
You're strong. Come on down. We're outta here. What happened?
That woman is crazy, but I got a good pump. Aren't you curious about what's inside the case? Nah, I just wanna get Church off our back.
Billy the Kid! Where the hell is he? - Drop your weapons! It ain't happenin'. Are you sure?
I'm sorry, sir. They were waitin'. Drop the weapons now. Don't do it. He's a strong soldier.
Let's see how strong he is. Don't do nothin' he says! You should not speak.
I'm gonna kill 'im. When I fire, his head.
Will be gone. Three seconds. Don't give your weapons. You don't owe me anything!
Don't do this! They'll kill everyone! He's gonna kill 'im. Et numero trois. I'm impressed. Very good use of intelligence. Everybody stay calm, we'll be done soon and then we'll be on our way.
Bring me that knife. What's this symbol? I like symbol. This is the symbol of the goat. The pet of Satan. You have a case that belongs to me.
Yes, like your lives. He doesn't have it. Last time the case, or you will force me to cut.
Do it, you piece o' shit. Let me have it. You talkin' to me? - Pick it up. Hand it to me.
Go get it yourself. What was that? Now pick it up, hand it to me nicely, or you'll get what he got. You'll be all right, Billy. Respect is everything. Without respect, we're just people.
Common, shitty people. I'm sorry, sir. It's not your fault. We're both fighting men.
And I respect that. And fighting men.
They don't deserve to be killed like sheep. Must be taught. Lie down with your face on the ground until we leave.
Don't challenge me. Are you afraid of me? You should be. Don't talk, Billy. Cut his hands loose! In my pocket. I'm so sorry.
I believe you. What was in the case? Blueprint of a mine. The Russians stored nearly 5 tons of weapons-grade plutonium.
The mine was abandoned after the Cold War. No one knows it's there. The blueprint shows where the plutonium is stored. We want to stop it before it gets in the wrong hands. I guess that didn't happen, did it? This kid died so some dirtbag can make bombs. I'm so sorry.
Not as sorry as I am. Let's take care of 'im. 'Dear Sophia' 'I wish I could find something different to do besides just missing you,' 'but I can't.' 'The team's treating me good. We got each other's backs.' 'And I want you to know that wherever I end up,' 'I'll be wantin' the very best for you.' 'And if some miracle happens, and I come back again,' 'I hope I'm still your man.
Much love, Billy.' Why is it that the one of us. Who wants to live the most, who deserves to live the most, dies? And the ones that deserve to die, keep on living? What's the message in that? What's the plan? Track 'im, find 'im, kill 'im.
CZ-1492, come on. Requesting a response immediately. Who's this bozo? CZ-1492, this is a secure air wave. What's this about? What's taking so long, Barney Ross?
This should have been a walk in the park for you guys. Where's the case? Don't have it. I warned you what would happen to you mutts if you pulled this shit again.
A good man died tryin' to get that case. I'm sorry about that. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. But this sort o' situation comes with the territory, wouldn't you say?
And so does payback. You know, Church, you're the kinda guy that pulls the strings, and everyone else does your dirty work cause you never had the guts to do it yourself. We got a problem.
The digging has slowed down. Too many are dying. They're exhausted.
Anybody else tired? Get more workers. We've already taken most of the men from the villages. Get all the rest. Women, children, all of them. Now we know where it is.
Right, right. I know what to do. I want the plutonium out in three days. I have people ready to pay four million a kilo now.
You're smart. Imagine if 6 pounds of pure plutonium is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. So, imagine what 5 tons would do. It's very interesting. Something's happening. The transmission stopped.
They're underground. Puttin' it down right here. Come on, let's hustle, hustle. We gotta move. Come on, Lee. Do you even know what the hell you're doin'?
Five minutes. Don't get your knickers in a twist. Another transport truck.
Could be one o' theirs. Let's check this place out. I've been dyin' to use these. We'll beat the truth outta 'em. Maggie, you tell the guys to wait in the truck. They're here. Speak English?
- He's slightly gigantic. He's really gigantic. I said that.
Can't beat a classic. I say we beat some info outta these guys and get movin'. Sounds good to me. Let's start with the midget. Calm down, boys. I can get them to talk with much less effort. What's she gonna do, give him a pedicure?
It's a little sick. Christmas, I need you to hotwire that truck and go back to the plane and get the weapons. Why don't you get one o' those cheese-heads to do it? Stop complainin'. I should've bounced one o' these over your skull.
How'd it go? They call themselves Sangs. They say they control everything east of the mountains. Robbery, kidnapping, assassinations. Basically, a cartel for hire.
How do you know the language? Put it together. It's a cross between Ukraine and Bulgarian dialect. Why are you yellin'? Cause you gave me the shit job, that's why.
I'm gonna shoot you in the face when I see ya. Where are you? The 60-year-old death trap you call a plane. Well, what's takin' so long? Cause there's bridges out, signs missing. I've been drivin' these dire roads for the last seven hours!
You done complainin'? Thanks for the sympathy.
This is weird. Just like home. That figures. What the hell is this place? I believe it's an old Soviet Army base. Probably used in the 80's.
They most likely staged maneuvers and practice attacks against the U.S. Is there anything you don't know? Just what I need.
We'll bed down here for the night. This tastes like shit.
Can't complain about rigatoni. Plan ahead, fellas. That's all I have to say. Y'all, what if you knew you were gonna die tomorrow? What would your last meal be? - One choice. One choice?
- It'd probably be cereal for you, huh? - And what the hell's wrong with cereal? You gotta be original. You know, if you were an original, broad-thinking man, you'd probably come up with some special cereal, like Earios. You know, just like your ear. You know, pour milk on them suckers, they just lay there and you don't hear shit.
For the record. My hearing is 20/20. Donuts and most food that kills ya. That's deep, man. You think so? Crispy aromatic duck with plum sauce.
But I like Italian, too. I'm startin' to think Italian's overrated. What about me? My favorite Swedish dinner would be.
And whale ass. In the summer. But I'd really die. For some Chinese. Then you're gonna starve to death. All right, sweet dreams. I'm not done eatin', man.
Can I ask you something? - Sure, go ahead. Why are you so nervous around me? - I don't get nervous, Maggie. What is it then? I just like keepin' a distance. Is it because you don't want to know any more people?
Let's just say bad things have happened to people I've gotten close to. Not a good way to live. Do you think about the young man who died?
All the time. You don't talk about him much.
No, that's how we deal with death. We can't change what it is, so we keep it light until it's time to get dark. And then we get pitch black. I understand. Good night, Maggie. I swear to God, if he doesn't stop snorin', I'm gonna shoot 'im. I know it's a stupid question.
I don't suppose you have any more o' that coffee. Pot only makes one cup. That's what I figured.
Those guys said the congregation of Sangs are probably in this area, concentrated east. So, that's where we're goin'. We're outta here in 10 minutes. You get ready.
Do what you gotta do. We got a problem. We gotta get outta here! Go, go, go, go!
Save your ammo. Where the hell are you? I'm almost there. Hey, what's goin' on? Are those shots?
- What's happenin'? - The Sangs got us pinned down. Can you hold 'em off?
- Yeah, maybe with a tank. They got a tank.
Hey, who did that? Not me, I'm out. Hey, what just happened? - Somebody got a little carried away. It looks that way. Where are the shooters? I don't know, but if they wanted us dead, we'd be dead.
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Don't freak out. Small world, huh, Barney? Rumor had it you were dead. Yeah, I heard that, too.
So, how's life treating ya? - You did all this? - I fly solo. I thought you knew that.
Yeah, I heard it, but I didn't buy it. Well, now you do. This your team? Gunner, Toll Road, Hale Caesar and Maggie.
You're the one people call the Lone Wolf? I've been called that. But I have mellowed. Not that much. I heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra? But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.
Great to see you, man. So, how'd you wind up in this godforsaken place? We got ambushed by Sangs about 100 kilometers east of here, killed one o' my men, young kid. Yeah, sorry to hear that. The Sangs are the lowest form o' scum.
Shootin' them has been a good business. Do you know who the leader is?
- Yeah, a guy named Vilain. Yeah, he pretty much controls everything in this area. You're gonna need more men if you expect to get out alive. Can you help out?
- Ah, sorry, Barney. I work alone. I understand. Thanks for showin' up.
There's a village down the road. They're good people, and they hate the Sangs. Maybe they can help out. Happy hunting.
What happened? I'm still alive. That's a matter of opinion. What'd I miss? I'll tell you about it on the way. Come on, guys. Unload these weapons.
Looks like Christmas came way late this year. Yeah, I love you, too. Well, I'm happy to see you. Somebody with class. This gotta be the town that Booker was talkin' about. I could retire to a place like this.
Clean air, no stress, raise some kids. You know, Maggie, I could retire to a place like this. You are so full o' shit. Out, out, out!
They're missin' us by a mile. Put down guns. That's not happenin'. The safest place is in front of their gun. We will shoot you!
These guys are here to help. They want to help. Even you two rejects could get lucky around here.
I doubt it. We're Americans. Since when?
What do you want? We're here to take care o' the Sangs.
This is who we think you'd come for. This is who we will die for. First, they told us there'd be good jobs, good money. But nobody come back. They come for more.
They say as soon as our men go to job, the others come home. My husband goes. For a long time, we hear nothing. The Sangs come and they take all of the rest of the men. Forced them to work in the mines. Same in the next village.
And the next. They take my sons. Now all that is left are the very young. And they will be back for them, too. We all know this. So, we hide them and we wait.
Why don't you just move on? - This is our home. Our lives will be the last thing they take. Tell us why you're here now. We're trackin' 'em.
Can't you stay. You saw the children! Soon they'll be done and they kill them all. We have our own business with them. I don't think they're gonna last here much longer. I think they know that.
So we're not gonna do anything about it? I got an idea. And with your ego, I think you're gonna love it. What do you mean, my ego? - You got a big ego. Well, check your ego out. Your ego is like the size of a dinosaur.
We found the plutonium. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you. Man and knife.
Rest in pieces. This is the last one? The chambers are cleared. No loose ends. You bury them all. I see about a dozen guards. Light weapons.
A couple of badass.50 cals. Anti-tank devices.
There's no way our trucks will get through that mine field. Look, I know this is a stupid question, but you got any ideas that won't get us killed? I got a few I'm thinkin' about. Target in sight! - Baby wants to travel! - Rock and roll!
- What's happening now? - You're not doin' what I think you're doin'. Yeah, I am. Come on, let's move! You're gonna need a new plane. We're too late! The plutonium's gone.
C'mon, c'mon, let's get outta here! C'mon, c'mon!
Move it, move it, move it! Go on, get outta here! Go, go, go, go! We're gonna be here awhile.
Don't seem right. Goin' out this chickenshit way? - Somethin' like that. Hey, it ain't over yet, kids. I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.
What's he doin'? - Probably makin' a bomb. What you doin', Gunner?
- I'm makin' a bomb. A maniac with brains. Phosphate rock.
It's got a density of 1.852. Melting point, 44.2 Centigrade. I want some gunpowder, fast. The man's a chemical engineer, right? And a Fulbright scholar.
Pour it in the pipe. The big man might be onto somethin'. Probably not. Need some help with that? Go blow yourself up. I want that back.
Better get back! This is gonna be loud! All right, let's go!
Better turn around unless you want your heads blown off. You better cover your ear. Well, the phosphorus must have been damp. Or you suck. There's that. Don't cry, Gunner.
You almost had an idea. How you doin', Trench? - Oh, I thank you.
You're welcome. We're even now, right? I'll be seein' you around, Trench. Thanks a lot.
It's not over yet. That's right. How ya doin', pal? - I was doin' pretty good, Church.
What are you doin' here? - I heard there was a party in town. Yeah, but it's my party. Has he always been this selfish? You wanna kick Vilain's ass or not? Don't forget the Little Rascals! Take the rest of the nukes to the hangar.
And get the plutonium on the plane. We need to buy some time. Come on, Vilain.
Tear 'im apart! I'm almost out. I'll be back.
You've been back enough. I'll be back. Start the engine! Get that thing in the air. I want to make some money! My shoe is bigger than this car. Shoot something!
Start the helicopter. We have a special guest coming.
Take care of him! Cannot beat a classic.
What are you doin' here? I'm goin' in there alone. Don't follow me, no matter what, do you understand? - Do you understand? That door opens up, and I don't come out, and he does, you kill 'im. Let's make it more dramatic.
Now, that's better. I'm out of bullets. That's your problem. You wanna kill me like a man?
Or you wanna kill me. Like a sheep? What's it going to be? - You wanna man up? I'll man you up.
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You must want to hurt me bad. I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm gonna take your life. Over so soon? I want my money's worth.
Come on, get up! - Comin' right up. Going back down. Talking to me? Time to wrap this up. Here we are, you and I.
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And your knife. You're going to die. What was his name? What did you call 'im? What does it matter? Come on, Vilain.
Somebody's dyin'. Come on, Vilain. Come on, Vilain. Get up, Vilain. Now turn around.
Turn around, sheep. His name was Billy. You know how to carve a turkey? - I think so.
Well, where's the proof? It is a nice touch. A little extreme.
And as much as I hate to say this, Bam-Bam, now that we got control of the plutonium, that makes us even. So, Maggie, you'll be coming with us then? When you're ready. So, I just want. They're okay, just a little immature.
I don't have to go. If you want me to stay, I'll stay.
And I did save the babysitter's life. That you did do. Maybe I'm good luck for you. But I could be bad luck for you, and I can't allow that. If you ever want help.
Call me, or you're dead. I'll do that. What are you doin' here? You killed all my business. I thought you were the Lone Wolf.
Sometimes it's fun to run with the pack. Sure, you got a point. You take care, Maggie. Oh, I almost forgot. As a token of my gratitude, my violent friend, I got you and the Little Rascals a ride home. Consider it a gift. That thing belongs in a museum.
Beware, beware, walk with care. Careful what you do. Or Mumbo-Jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you.
Mumbo-Jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you. Boomlay, boomlay, boomlay, boom! Rest in peace. Man, I need a massage.
Don't look at me. From one friend to another? You really should learn how to fight.
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